Everyday we learn something new. We are an amazing race because we constantly change and learn from our mistakes. We struggle and laugh and cry and dance. A lot of people tend to want to hide from the storms life throws at us. I want to dance in the rain. I want to live my life to the fullest. And for now that means I'm kinda stuck with letters, and Facebook notes, and blog posts. But eventually, I hope I will get another chance. I understand if that isnt what you believe is best for you. And I completely respect the fact that you probably wouldnt even want to talk to me.
I want to feel like a normal girl. And that means stepping up and walking out the door. I need to grow up. Hiding wont help me at this point. I have a small social circle of freinds. I'm more into the entire 'do something fun' thing. I wanna see a movie! Or I wanna make my cousin carry back and forth between my house and my grandmas house (Which is a hilarious thing to do).
And then, there are other things I refuse. My friend Z. He asked me out. And I feel like a completely awful person for saying no. Because I can't do that to him. Or myself. I'm not ok enough yet to do anything through that door. He cried. I felt so bad. He wanted to take me to prom. And I told him no to that too. As much as I would love to wear a pretty dress and dance around... No. Because I can only think of one person I would go to prom with... Should've gone to prom with... And I want him to know, I am dancing in the rain... :)
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