heart break

I've never been heartbroken before. And I'm not even sure if that is one word or two. But, at somepoint everyone goes through heartbreak right? Its not at all like in the movies. There is no ice cream. You just have to keep going. No matter what. I think the hardest part right now is that I dont want to listen to music. Because music was everything. Im the voiceless singer. At the moment any way.
At first it was so surreal. I was waiting for myself to wake up. I didnt. And then I just spent a long time staring at the wall. I was so confused and lost.
I think boys are a little overrated. So, it'll be a while before I even think of going on a real date.

Poetry

Poetry is such an amazing way to express your self. You can do absolutely anything because of poetic licence. I use poetry alot to express myself and I'm going to start posting  it on here. I will probably post a lot of dark poetry because that is what I have the most of. It helped to get rid of my depression. I thought of myself as a filter and I put the badness on the paper. So, yeah. I just started writing non-depressing poetry. Sorry if you dont like poetry. But I have problems coming up with things to blog about.

I forgot

I'm sorry
I forgot
I only exsist when you need me
I forgot
I'm a nerd because I like school
I forgot
I'm anorexic because I have a high metabolism
I forgot
I'm a slut because I like to dress up
I forgot
I'm fat because I eat all the time
I forgot
that I'm emo because I like to wear skinny jeans and eyeliner
I forgot
I'm weird because I dont do drugs
I forgot
I'm a freak because I'm a unique individual
I forgot
that I'm different because I'm creative and believe in something
I forgot
I'm not perfect because no one is and that includes you
I forgot
I'm not pretty because I dont look like you
I'm sorry
you are such a shallow person
I'm sorry
you dont have your own personality
I'm sorry
you are too scared to be yourself
and I'm sorry I forgot
That I dont care

Faerie Fact

So, being a faerie is hard. You have to be moving all the time. You are probably wondering why I'm blathering about being a faerie. I'm in A Midsummer Nights Dream at my school. I play faerie number two. :) And I love being a faerie because I am very active and strange and i like to climb on things and jump around. I just am not used to doing that for hours at a time.
Though I do get a dark green tutu. :) I love tutus.
I also get my own tree! I love it. I jump up onto it and sit there. I still have to move but its a little less. And i have two lines. One of which is very important. :)
But we faeries just prance around and roll around on the ground. :)

Theatre Moments 1

So, you're sitting around backstage. Waiting to go on. Being bored and chilling. And your freind tells you that the have a dagger in their bag. WHAT!?
So you ask to see it and she hands it to you and you examine it carefully. You comment on its skillfully made handle.
And, i being a completely crazy individual decide to start quoting Shakespeare. I drop to my knees on the floor and say, "Oh Romeo, poison I see hath been his timely end."
And then I stab myself in the chest with the dagger. And i miss. Because i have horrible aim.
And while i'm lying on the floor silently cursing the dagger, the boy i like walks up and is like, "Are you ok?"
What am I supposed to say at this point?!?!?! So i tell him i meant to stab my heart but i missed.
He laughs at me. I give my friend back her dagger and excuse myself.
Its these moments that only happen when you are around theatre friends. :)
And my theatre freinds are amazing.